I’m so out of the practice of posting I don’t even know how to begin or what to say. Greetings. This is my first “new” post on blogspot, all the others have merely been transplanted from Diaryland – a quaint little spot – let it never be forgotten, it had its moment. It was.
Week 20, the half way mark, of this pregnancy, has commenced. It’s rather daunting. The miracle of life and all that rot. The first three months were miserable and now I just feel big and uncomfortable. What do I have to look forward to? Feeling bigger and even more uncomfortable and then being in a lot, lot, lot, lot of pain and then terrified for the next eighteen years. And this was a choice… a planned and deliberate choice. What were we thinking!?!
Despite my whining, Saturday was an awesome day. I pruned my agapanthus in the morning, with the exception of two aging flowers acting as pillar to the web of my Marge Simpson spider (which resembles this, but I’d say mine is bigger.) I conferred with Ed on how to handle Marge and his advice was to just leave her be. So there she perches, though much more exposed than when nestled among the other towering scepters of purple flower.
Ed edged the lawn around the garden, which looks amazing after an eight hour stint last week where I weeded, pruned, raked and primped. Zoe’s dresser arrived a few days back and Ed hauled it in pieces, to be assembles, which now lay strewn across the newcomer’s floor.
I’ve been kavetching about wanting to find and pool and swim for years – since we moved up here – and we visited a swim and tennis club which looks like it fits the bill perfectly. It’s an outdoor pool, heated to 82 degrees F, and open year round. If you’re a Native Son of the Golden West they offer steep discounts. They don’t kick in until one has been a member for a few years but it’s even reasonable until then. We got to try it out for free for the day and it was the first time I lay face down, stretched out, for months! It felt so great – like something really precious and valuable. I was beaming happy well into the evening.
After our afternoon at the swim and tennis club we took the bikes out for a spin, while the Honey Bee ran along side, up to the park for a frollicky game of fetch. After a nice work out I retired to the
Despite the pleasures of the day, however, I had a restless and uncomfortable night. If I wasn’t waking to go to pee (an every few hour occurrence… thank you miracle of frill’n life) I was waking up just plane uncomfortable. Around 4 am Secret decided she wanted up on the bed, to be with the pack, and until she departed around 7 I don’t remember sleeping well – despite cozily rubbing noses with the Monster Grrrl, I felt cramped and uncomfortable and sore. So today really sucked by comparison – I did a modicum of gardening but other than that I’ve been prone on the sofa or lazing on the bed and I feel like a big lump.
And if you can’t tell by this post, I’ve officially become one of those pregnant ladies who seem to have no life or mind or thoughts beyond the simple fact that she’s pregnant. For those of you who have never been pregnant, it’s rather all consuming. For those who have, my sympathies go out to you.
I’ll try to bring up some non-pregnant topics next time… like the Doris Lessing book I’m reading (The Good Terrorist.)
6 comments:
I read that book years ago. Like all Lessing, it was more than a little disturbing and very memorable. Good luck with the next 20 weeks. They tend to go by much slower than the first, especially toward the end. But thankfully, after it’s all over, you tend to forget it, or why would we do it again?
Woooo hoo. Your first new post. I am so excited. And a pregnancy update. :) Grinning.
It's OK to be obsessed you know, it really does take you over for nine months. I'm t-ten days and counting. Happy to read a new post, looking forward to more.
alison
Eleanor - I'm enjoying The Good Terrorist - the characters are painfully believable. I can't imagine the next twenty weeks feeling slower than the first.. the first were pretty excruciating!! And I don't know why any woman would do this more than once (I keep asking my mom... "why, why, why did you ever think it was a good idea to do it twice, much less FOUR more times!?!" She just chuckles....)
Just Me - I have arrived!
Alison - It's hard not to be obsessed. I just wish it were more of a choice maybe. When you mentioned that sometimes when you're walking around you just "forget" that you're pregnant - I got totally jealous. I seem to always be painfully aware. There are moments when I sleep and dream where it seems to go away.... but increasingly sleep is even less comfortable and less of an escape!
-Zu
I am thrilled you made your first post and how you are dealing with being pregnant. For some reason the "being there" is lost over the years and a tinge of jealousy is in the minds of some woman that have left behind their child rearing age. Not that I would have another if my situation were a good one but how I felt once my little ones were handed to me was priceless. I only recall having loved being pregnant and being a mom, as I have often said, my greatest joy my deepest sorrow, but many life's lessons learned. I suppose I forgot the unpleasantness and went on to have two more four years apart. So glad to hear from you Zuzu, I have missed you something terrible. Sandyz
Sandy - so good to hear from YOU too! My heart is with you through this time - I'm sorry it's been so difficult. I have a friend who says she never felt better than when she was pregnant. Me... if given the choice, I'd never do this again. Don't get me wrong.. I'm totally thrilled and excited to meet Zoe... just not again! Maybe it took four years to forget the misery.. heh?
-Zu
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