28 April 2005

Water Lilies

The head cold, sore throat, achy, fever, chills thing persists. My throat feels like a gravel road or rather perhaps more like stippled, bulbous, fleshy alien pods. Hmmm.. pretty. Perhaps these bulbous throat pods are indeed the seed casings for Monet’s water lilies. Stranger things have happened. It could be, you know. It could happen. It could. Oh shut up.

22 April 2005

ThePerfect Spot

I feel chilled and achy and my head is foggy. It’s the beginnings of something. Isn’t that the way things go with beginnings – so clear something is coming and yet an absolute mystery as to what and how far things will go? Where this starts and stops will soon be revealed, in its own time, not to be rushed, it’s inevitable. So here I sit in the inevitability of life – wondering why it’s so painful and uncomfortable.

I’m off work again this week, or rather, I was off work except for Wednesday and as it turns out a bit of Thursday and Friday as well. I’m feeling bitter. Maybe it has to do with the chilled-achy-foggy-head feeling and less to do with work. It’s all quite a bit like Monet’s water lilies - from close up I can’t really tell what it is and at varying distances it’s a blur but there’s a perfect spot where I’ll see it clearly and beautifully. I just haven’t found the perfect spot yet. I’m looking for the perfect spot.

Okay. Breathe. Maybe I’m realizing the perfect spot. Okay. Maybe a little pain and discomfort has got to be part of the perfection sometimes. Perhaps it’s a catalyst or maybe the supernatant. Whatever the case it’s somehow part of it - not to be run away from, shuffled off, healed, overcome or escaped. Okay.