Higher Ground

I went to my first town council meeting tonight. When we moved here it was my intention to get involved in civic life. We’re pushing on five years and this was my first meeting. I sat next to a distinguished and articulate man. He was so kind and helpful and earnest. I was kicking myself for not voting him in for another term.

The meeting, it was entertaining. After two and a half hours, however, it was time to crawl home with my stuffy-nosed, coughing, sleepy-headed self.

I realized that one of my barriers against grief is to recount inconsistencies – those things that make a person less than perfect – you know, human. These are the ways you are human and thus it minimizes the loss to me and the world today. But it’s a heavy veil to lift and rally against grief. It’s left my shoulders sore and my body a bit fatigued. I really can just let the dead be dead – without making them either less or more than who they are in all their perfect imperfections. I forget that I can do this, however – and thus my shoulders are sore.

I’m waiting to hear if the President will declare a State of Emergency and hopefully release FEMA relief for the area. I’ve heard I can get a no or low interest loan and that sometimes the Federal Government forgives these loans. I wish they’d hand out grants outright. I need to dig out the foundation and really, raise the house another foot.